What your Jesters drink of choice says about you - The Tab

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If you order a Jesticle you’re basic x

Jesters nights are perhaps some of the messiest and unique nights out Soton students will have, with their wide selection of speciality cocktails it is easy to lose track to how many drinks you’ve had. Before you know it, you’ve downed five Juicy Lucy’s, the DJ has played the Baywatch song and you’re surrounded by topless boys.

Some say that the type of drink you get at Jesters says more about your than your actual zodiac sign, so here is definitively what your Jesters drink of choice says about you:

Juicy Lucy

If a Juicy Lucy is your go-to order, you’re probably from a sports society and will end up chunning before 10pm. You always order four straight away and end up having to down all of them because you forgot how to play any of the drinking games. It’s okay though because you recover well and are always ready to get back to it after you’ve (taccy) chunned. You are the life of the party and the source of endless jokes for your inability to handle alcohol!

Jesticle

If you always order a Jesticle, I hate to break it to you, but you’re boring. You’re the person that always wants to go home early. But, it’s not all bad because you’re also the mum of the group! You can be found holding your friend’s hair back in the toilets as they throw up their multiple Juicy Lucy’s.

Fuzzy Duck

If you are ordering a Fuzzy Duck you are a Jesters regular. You are not mainstream enough to be seen drinking a Jesticle or a Juicy Lucy and want everyone to know Jesters is your second home.

Classy Darcy

If you order a Classy Darcy you are trying to look unique and stand out. Unfortunately for you, you don’t look unique. Unless you are part of the Famous Five, why would you pick a cocktail that has ginger beer in it? Although not the worst tasting Jesters cocktail, the bartenders will probably hate you for ordering this. Making a Jesticle or Juicy Lucy is second nature to them, but making a Classy Darcy is not a regular occurrence so is just an inconvenience to make.

Harlequin

Again, another cocktail none of the Jesters bartenders want to make. This drink looks as good as it tastes, the mixture of apple sours, peach schnapps, orange juice, and cranberry juice, at least means you can leave Jesters having had four of your five-a-day.

Beer

Honestly, what are you doing? Have you confused Jesters with a pub? If you go to Jesters just to order a pint, you are 100 per cent not one for a night out. Always complaining that the music is too loud and never one to venture to the dance floor, really you should just call it a day at and head home. Nevertheless, you are loved by all and can always be relied on by your friends for a chat or to take them home when they’ve gone too hard on the Tequila Omelettes x

Snakebite

If you are ordering this you are either on a social, getting a pitcher for £10, or are not a fan of the Jesters cocktails. It is not surprising it is normally the social lads that order this, not wanting anyone to know they would rather be downing a Jesticle.

Vodka Squash

If you are ordering this you are either a hockey girl on a social, not willing to get punished ordering anything else, or you are trying to drink whilst consuming as few calories as possible. This drink, although may seem boring, is a very tactical drink for a Jesters Wednesday. If you are a fresher and have been punished for not learning the drinking game rules, you can tactically buy a single vodka squash and will survive the rest of the night.

Game Changer

If you have ordered a Game Ghanger then good luck to you. According to insider sources the ingredients in a Game Changer are a mystery, changing depending on who pours it for you. All that is known about the Game Changer is that you will have a very eventful night following this drink.