It had been 20-some years since I vacationed on Sanibel.
That is, prior to this month.
I've been to the island plenty, mostly to eat, sometimes to fish or lounge on the shell-trimmed beaches. But vacationing on Sanibel is something Minnesotans and Canadians do. Not us locals. It's for Michiganders in their black socks and Teva sandals, and for Wisconsinites, their pale, northern skin branded pink by our sun.
Sanibel, in my head, belongs to them. Or it did — until the pandemic struck and vacations worldwide came to a screeching halt.
I had plans to slurp hand-pulled lamian noodles in Vancouver's Chinatown and tear through beignets and etouffee in New Orleans, to be the out-of-place tourist in someone else's city. Instead I was home, cooking for myself, boring myself to tears with my same old recipes, my same reliably predictable flavor profiles, my same same same.
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As I drove myself crazy, a friend proposed an island getaway on Sanibel. Just a few days. A quick change of scenery. I've never been more excited to pay $6 and cross the Causeway.
How does a restaurant critic eat through Sanibel with a small, COVID-conscious group amid a pandemic? Carefully.
Here's a closer look.
Takeout to drool over
Much of my Sanibel vacation was spent driving around and grabbing bags and boxes of food, which I was happy to do.
If I'd had my way, we would have eaten at The Pecking Order every meal, every day. I wrote a little something about the restaurant's hand-made pies last week, but everything here deserves recognition: the shatteringly crisp, fried-to-order chicken; the leafy collard greens; the velvety black-eyed peas with their richly savory kick.
The first night we got in, I ordered a 20-piece bucket with one of every side and pies galore. We ate as much as we could, then shoved the rest in our condo's fridge for snacking throughout the weekend. It was gone a few hours later.
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Our next stop for takeout was the classic Schnapper's Hots. There's nothing fancy about this place. It's a counter with a few spots for stand-up dining and a few picnic tables out front. The prices — $4.95 for a hot dog, $6.95 for a plain cheeseburger — are about what you'd expect on a vacation island. But the food. This food gets me every time. Schnapper's serves natural-casing dogs that snap oh-so satisfyingly with that first juicy bite. Its burgers are char-grilled. Its onion rings are dipped in a faintly sweet batter that crackles and crunches. The fries are good. The shakes are too.
This is post-beach food and pre-nap food — in all the best ways.
For takeout that's even more creative, Paper Fig Kitchen came recommended by an island friend, a true Sanibel local. The 2-year-old catering company launched a cafe and to-go restaurant in January. It's proven to be a pandemic savior for many islanders with grab-and-go, heat-when-you-like dinners and, for lunch, salads and hand-crafted sandwiches on scratch-baked breads.
From the fresh-squeezed lemonade and passion-fruit iced tea, to coconut shrimp po' boys, Korean short rib tacos and the pecan-laced blondies for dessert, decisions don't come easy at Paper Fig. But flavors do.
If you want to sit down and be served
I have a confession: I'd never been to Island Cow before this stay-cation.
The 18-year-old restaurant always seemed to me like the ultimate tourist trap, a faux Key West trimmed in pastels and udders. But then someone in the group said paella and watermelon-mint cocktails, and I was powerless to stop.
We ate in a seashell-shaped booth on the front porch, blessedly surrounded by swirling fans. Our masked server took great care of us: promptly coursing out our meals; quick with refills; thoroughly sanitizing their other tables between diners.
That paella wasn't a technical Spanish paella, no crisp crust of rice on the bottom, but it was still delicious. The watermelon cocktail could have been stronger. But what it lacked in vodka it made up for with refreshing ingredients. Not bad at all.
While I'd hoped to stop into Sweet Melissa's, a longtime favorite, the timing didn't work out, sadly. Instead, a morning later, I ended up on Sanibel Fresh's patio, happily silenced by a perfect stack of Key lime pancakes. I chased each bite with a stolen forkful of quiche from one friend, a poached spoonful of acai from another, a sneaked bite of house-made granola from a third. Sharing is caring.
I was surprised to see the 40-some-year-old Pinocchio's ice cream shop had closed, but happy to find another house-made creamery, Sanibel's Best, in its place. I'm a sucker for Joey's Custard, too, and was thrilled to see it's offering Hawaiian-style shaved ice in addition to its rich ice creams. And no visit of any length to Sanibel is complete without an insanely fresh poke bowl from Spoondrift Island Bowls.
The beauty of this getaway was that, right now, Sanibel is all ours.
The black socks and Ontario license plates are few and far between these days. I miss the tourists. I'm sure the restaurants do, too. But it's fun taking their place for a bit and living that island-vacation life.
Jean Le Boeuf is the pseudonym used by a local food lover who dines at restaurants anonymously and without warning, with meals paid for by The News-Press. Email JLB at jleboeuf@news-press.com; follow the critic at facebook.com/jeanleboeufswfl or @JeanLeBoeuf on Twitter and Instagram.
If you go
The Pecking Order Fried Chicken & Pies: 2496 Palm Ridge Road, Sanibel; 239-472-2534; thepeckingordersanibel.com
Schnapper's Hots: 1528 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel; 239-472-8686; schnappershots.com
Paper Fig Kitchen: 2003 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel; 239-887-0050; paperfigkitchen.com
Island Cow: 2163 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel; 239-472-0606; sanibelislandcow.com
Sanibel Fresh: 1020 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel; 239-472-0922; sanibelfresh.net
Sanibel's Best Homemade Ice Cream: 362 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel; 239-476-0796; sanibelsbesthomemadeicecream.com
Joey's Custard: 2467 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel; 239-472-7222; facebook.com/joeyscustard
Spoondrift Island Bowls: 2441 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel; 239-472-0875; sanibelspoondrift.com
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